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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489350">Do I Feel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzamethystcrow/pseuds/mzamethystcrow'>mzamethystcrow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:33:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,084</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mzamethystcrow/pseuds/mzamethystcrow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The infamous picnic serves as Anakin and Padmé's first time together. (This is a rewrite of Picnic.https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2713117/1/Picnic)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Do I Feel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Published originally on Dec 21, 2005 over on ff.net. Decided to rewrite it and stick it here. :-)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <strong>~Padmé~</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Coming home to Naboo was more for my protection and not a vacation, but regardless I've missed the lush, emerald fields of my home. The peace and serenity it offers, the huge puffy clouds of white that gather high in the distance, and the sun shining brightly in the sky. Below the clouds, the horizon is filled with grand waterfalls, that spill into a crystal clear lake, hiding just below a cliff on the other side. The scent and the cool breeze on the water brings a smile to my face.</p><p>"Let's stop here," I say, stopping a few feet from the edge of the cliff. I pounced on Anakin's idea to have a picnic. At first I thought it odd that he would suggest such a thing, but I put that thought aside when I saw the worry and concern on his face. My normally held composure has been disrupted by both assassination attempts on my life on Coruscant. Knowing this, the Jedi Council decided that Anakin Skywalker and his Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi should escort me back to Naboo as my bodyguards. But, just before leaving, the Council had changed their minds and sent Obi-wan off on another mission, putting my life in his Padawan's hands. I understand the responsibility the Council had given Anakin and I feel sorry for him.</p><p>"Wow," I hear Anakin say in appreciation of the same sights I see. Turning around, I watch him set the basket down in the calf-high grass. He's being so sweet to me and I cannot help but be awed as I have been from the moment I re-met him. I'd been surprised how the little nine-year-old boy I'd met ten years earlier had matured. He was a definitely a man—and an attractive one at that. The shaggy blonde hair and cute blue eyes he'd been gifted with had now changed into spiky, slightly tousled sun-kissed hair, completely with a Padawan ponytail and braid. His eyes were now a piercing shade of sky-blue.</p><p>I admit I'd been slightly uncomfortable around him. But it wasn't because I was afraid of him, no-no, it was because I was becoming more attracted to him and somehow that feels wrong. After all, the first words out of his mouth had been in appreciation of how I'd grown more beautiful in a voice that was sexy and husky, something I hadn't quite expected. But then, it was the way he'd looked at me when I was packing to leave. His smoldering gaze was focused on my very <em>soul</em>. I'd even tried to sound annoyed when I told him it made me feel uncomfortable, but he seemed to see right through me knowing it was a lie. I hadn't missed his small smirk when he apologized, either. Or the way he'd said "milady", as if that made it all okay. But, oh did I love the way he'd said it.</p><p>"Padmé?"</p><p>Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I notice that Anakin has already spread out a blanket over the grass. He's sitting down, his back to me, and he's leisurely stretched his long legs out in front of him. He's bent one leg at the knee, popped his arm over it, and leaned back. If he gets anymore comfortable, he'll fall asleep.</p><p>And just why is he so calm? We are both still very much in danger, though I do trust him to keep me alive and safe. There's a feeling of possession I sense from him, that he won't let anything happen to something he considers his and I like that. Still, I have nagging thoughts that threats will continue to be made against my life regardless of his protection. But, I have to be strong. I'd been a queen once upon a time, damn it. That makes me strong, right?</p><p>But, I don't feel so strong now. With Anakin I feel almost vulnerable. Small. Of course, no one is out to kill him, now were they? The Jedi were peaceful and bring order to things. To chaos. They are guardians of all.</p><p>No one wants to destroy that.</p><p>Right?</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>~Anakin~</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Padmé's change in emotions is swift. She's gone from happiness and joy to nervousness and apprehension. I know exactly what's caused it. I sense a wave of fear from her as she approaches me, the rustling of her gown brushing against the grass. Her footsteps are light, so feminine, as she always is.</p><p>She's so fucking feminine and proper with protocol, it drives me wild.</p><p>To hide my frown, I turn my face away. She's scared and I understand why, but I don't know what else I can do to ease her fears. It angers me, although it shouldn't, that she doesn't feel safe with me. She should always feel safe, knowing I will keep her away from harm. She's under my protection and I would give my life for her, doesn't she know that?</p><p>I'm hoping that taking a break from the universe here will help and I'm determined to prove it.</p><p>"I haven't been here since I was a little girl," Padmé says as she sits down next to me, tucking her feet under her. "It's still as beautiful as I remember."</p><p>It's still not as beautiful as she is.</p><p>"Are you alright?" I ask, my voice tight. I want to get right to the root of her emotions. Her back is ramrod straight and she's wringing her hands in her lap. She looks captivating. The low-cut, pale gold and pink gown only softens her exotic features. Her hair is half up, bunched into gold crocheted fabric over her ears. Little tendrils of wavy, dark brown hair are left free to float around her face, falling over the thin band of green and pink that covers her forehead. The rest of it cascades down her back, tied only with a simple ribbon.</p><p>"What makes you ask that?"</p><p>I smile, knowing that she already knows the answer to her own question.</p><p>"Can't hide anything from you, can I?" Padmé asks, matching my smile. She relaxes a bit. No one knows we are here. She's <em>safe</em> with me, damn it. On her own fucking planet, she's safe.</p><p>"I'm a Jedi, Padmé," I state, darkly. "It's not easy to hide things from me. You wouldn't hide things from me, would you?" I ask, a warning in my tone.</p><p>It was either the way I said her name or perhaps the way I was looking at her, but either way I'd caused her breath to hitch. My lips twitch into a grin.</p><p>"Would I what?" Padmé asks, because I sense she's forgotten her train of thought.</p><p>My grin widens. She has no clue what we are talking about. It's amazing how easily I can fluster the prim and proper Senator from Naboo. All I have to do is look at her and she wilts like some flower out in the sun too long.</p><p>Because I can sense her confusion, I decide to have some fun.</p><p>"Would you take a bath with one of your handmaidens and let me watch?" I ask with a straight face. It's one of my forbidden fantasies, but let's just see if she can figure that out.</p><p>Pink tinges her cheeks in an adorable blush and fuck, if I don't feel my cock harden in response. "That's not what you asked, Ani," she whispers, looking away. She catches her bottom lip in her teeth and I catch the hint of a grin.</p><p>Interesting. I don't sense that she's horrified by the idea and I wonder if she's entertained the idea herself.</p><p>He gaze flies back up to mine and I hold it there, daring her to blink away.</p><p>"That's not what you asked me and you know it!" Is she trying to sound incensed? Because her giggle at the end of her denial proves she's not. I have a feeling the lovely senator is never embarrassed—or affected so easily by someone. She's always in her right frame of mind and focused.</p><p>But in the space of a heartbeat, I've made her lose her defenses.</p><p>And that's actually amusing to her.</p><p>"No, it's not, but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen," I tease, unable to contain my laughter. She'd fallen for it so easily. Her mind is an open book to me, most of the time. She holds nothing back, always so honest. Of course, she has no clue I can so easily tell what she's thinking, how she feels.</p><p>What her desires and fantasies are, including the ones of me. Those are like beacons in the dark, blinding me when she has them, the Force alerting me to them as if warning me.</p><p>It took all my might not to comment on one she had had during our trip here. I thought we'd just been sharing a meal and discussing whether or not a Jedi was allowed to love. She was obviously thinking of something else as well. I'd just taken a drink when she commented in her mind how much she wanted me to fuck her right there on the table, in front of everyone. Her fantasy was interrupted when I started choking. I still hurt from the pounding she gave my back when she tried to help me.</p><p>"Are you making fun of me?" Padmé asks as I continue to laugh at her. She leans back slightly, smiling.</p><p>"Mm, no no. I'd be much too frightened to tease a Senator," I lie, still laughing at her. She almost looks horrified at the mere thought that I would make fun of her. Her smile is proof, though, that she's not upset.</p><p>"You are making fun of me," She concedes. "That's not very nice."</p><p>"You needed to laugh, Padmé. You're too uptight."</p><p>"No, I'm not I…"</p><p>She won't finish her sentence and she's doing it again, damn it, with her bottom lip. Now that deep brown gaze of hers is making me forget how to breathe as she looks up at me. If she had any idea how possessive of her I am, would she run screaming I wonder?</p><p>"You're what, Padmé?" I ask, leaning closer to her. I've stopped grinning now, my mood turning serious. I want to hear her say that she wants me, not just think it. She refuses to admit it out loud. My attention changes to her mouth. She looks as if she's trying to say something to me, but can't get it out. Her mouth looks warm and appealing. She licks her lips, perhaps absentmindedly or perhaps not, and I shift because my groin <em>hurts</em>. Such an innocent little move is all it takes.</p><p>I do not expect her to grab the sides of my face and press her mouth to mine, so I grunt at the force with which she initiates the kiss. I'm stunned at the desperation I feel from her. She's trying to consume me with her kiss, but I also feel… guilt? When she tries to deepen her assault, I gently try to push her away from me. This is not how our first kiss should be. She needs to breath, doesn't she? I sure as hell do! I hear her whimper when I'm finally able to break the kiss.</p><p>But I want to impale myself on my own damn lightsaber when I see the hurt in her eyes, because I immediately regret it.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>~Padmé~</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>"I'm sorry," I whisper, moving away from him. I can see the questions crossing behind his eyes and all of them start with why, why, why. But the main one being why did I do that? Because he was too damn tempting, that's why. I saw the stunned look in his eyes just after he'd abruptly ended our kiss—my kiss. I'd wanted to do it, but obviously he didn't.</p><p>I want to cry, but my planet will have to be on fire before I do that. Now he's looking at me as if I've just confessed I'm a Sith Lord and I'm suddenly angry. Wasn't he just the one delightfully teasing me? I've read the signals all wrong. His teasing was just that—teasing.</p><p>I can't help it, I'm angry because he's rejected me and it <em>hurts</em>.</p><p>I want to run away, to where I don't know. I stand up, but my balance is lost when I'm pulled swiftly back down, falling backwards. I land in front of Anakin, settled between his legs. I hear a grunt, my back thumping against his chest. I struggle to get out of his embrace, but quickly realize it's futile as he's ten times stronger than I am, so I give up. I'm wiggling in his arms, hoping he'll let me go, because I'm so embarrassed. His hand cups my chin and he forces my head to fall back against his shoulder.</p><p>"I, um, I…" I can only stammer, because I don't know what else to do. I should apologize. He's holding on to me as if my life is dear to him, determined not to let me out of his intimate embrace. One arm is wrapped around my waist, the other is slowly caressing my arm. It feels so good, but I'm as confused as ever now. Hadn't be just been revolted by my actions? "Ani, I—"</p><p>"You want me," Anakin states the truth, in his deep husky voice. He leans down and slightly kisses the side of my neck and I instinctively move my head farther to the side to give him better access. I realize what I've done after he places another light, feathery kiss there.</p><p>"No, I don't," I whisper the lie, closing my eyes. Ribbons of heat unfurl to my core, making me squirm on his lap. Goose bumps cover my arms, I'm so feverishly hot by what he's doing. He's moved from caressing my arm to caressing the underside of my breasts. Will he touch me there? I take a deep breath in anticipation because I hope he does. The heat of his hands scorch me through the thin fabric of my gown. I'm so aroused by the time he reaches my nipples and pinches them through the fabric, I moan.</p><p>"It's not wise to lie to a Jedi," he hisses in my ear. "You should shield your thoughts better. I know everything. What you think, what you feel." His hands have cupped my breasts, their heavy weight adding to my arousal. He uses his thumb and forefinger to tease and pull my nipples. He keeps up his assault, despite hearing my sharp intake of breath. "I know all your fantasies, Padmé." I whimper when he nuzzles my neck.</p><p>I try to concentrate on what he's saying to me, but he's making it very difficult. The rustling of silky fabric against my skin is making me burn. His tongue is teasing my ear and his warm breath is making me shiver. We'd come here for a picnic not to—my stomach growls. I'm hungry and I blurt the admission aloud before I can stop myself.</p><p>"I'm hungry, but not for food," Anakin says a scant second before he reaches to turn my head toward him and claims my mouth. This time he's aggressive and open. I sigh against his mouth when he sweeps his tongue inside to fuck mine. I respond with equal fervor. The kiss is just as scorching as his hands. We taste each other, over and over, until I begin to move my hips against him. I can't help it, the friction is unbearable.</p><p>Anakin tears his mouth away, his breathing ragged. I can feel him beneath me, he's <em>hard </em>whereas I'm <em>wet</em>.</p><p>"Shall I show you one of my fantasies, senator?" He asks, moving his hand to my thigh and slowly pulling my skirts up. I make no effort to stop him. His other hand pulls the thin strap on my shoulder down and he kisses the spot it hid. I whimper when he's pulled my skirts up to my thighs. I let out a sigh of pleasure and move restlessly against him when he caresses the sensitive skin near the junction of my legs.</p><p>I can feel him smile against my skin when his hand moves higher, finding my core. "You're not wearing any panties, senator. That's very naughty." He slowly begans to stoke the fire in me. He rubs his hand over my mound, over my bare skin, and purposely avoiding the area I most wanted to have him touch. I moan and move my hips against his hand. "Tell me you want me."</p><p>He's evil. Just evil. All I want him to do is stop his torment. He's making me burn. He has to know I want him, so why the hell do I need to admit it? He repeats his command more forcefully, squeezing the inside of my thigh. He must feel how wet I am. "Padmé," he says my name as a warning, but it's the <em>way</em> he says it that makes me burn hotter.</p><p>"I want you, Ani," I tell him, hoping he'll know it's the truth and that I want this torture to cease. I whimper when he finally touches my sensitive nub, causing me to jerk in his arms. He teases my clitoris, rolling it and playing with it between his fingers. He knows just where to touch me to drive me wild and I wonder if he's had experience with this before, but at this moment it doesn't matter. My moan is ragged when his fingers finally thrust into me. He holds me tight against him as he continues his sweet torture. In and out, out and in. One digit, then two and he angles his hand so his fingers hit my wall with each stroke. They are magical and demanding. I'm soon senseless to everything but finding my release.</p><p>"I love the way you respond to me. You are so hot, so wet. It's all for me, isn't it, Padmé?"</p><p>I know I should answer, I must answer, but I just <em>can't</em> answer him. He's becoming more forceful with his demands and I'm becoming unglued. I can't stop my building climax. It happens before I realize it's occurring and my hands reach down to hold his hand between my thighs. I tighten around him by drawing my knees up and squeezing him tight.</p><p>It's a shattering orgasm. I go limp from the wonder of it and I fall back against his chest in blissful surrender.</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>~Anakin~</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>I can feel her shaking in my arms, her orgasm starting to subside now. We mustn't let that happen, must we? She has responded so quickly and openly to me. Fuck it all, I want to feel that same tightening around me again, squeezing not my fingers, but my cock.</p><p>"Do you know how much I want you? I want you so bad it hurts. You belong to me, Padmé," I say, not giving a fuck how possessive I sound. I feel it. I remove my wet fingers from her and lift her away from me, giving me allowance to reach down and free myself from my pants. I have to be inside of her right fucking now. "Do you want to know?" I grate against her ear.</p><p>"Ani—"</p><p>"Anakin," I interrupt, shifting my hold on her. I hurriedly shove the rest of her skirts out of the way with one hand before placing both hands on her hips. "Ani makes me sound like a little boy. Do I feel—" I slowly lower her onto the length of me, causing her to gasp and sing her nails into my hard thighs. "—like a little boy, senator?" I whisper into her ear, causing her to shiver.</p><p>"N-no," was all she could moan. Padmé uses her grip on my thighs as leverage to lift herself up quickly, then back down. She aches, I know she does, but I have other ideas. This was going to go at my pace, not hers. When she seats herself again on my cock, I hold her waist to prevent her from moving. I hold her there until she pants. I hold her there until she says my name—my full name—because I'm just twisted that way. I then slowly lift her off my lap until only just the tip of me is inside her.</p><p>"Anakin, please!</p><p>I can feel the sting of her nails through the fabric of my pants. She's frustrated and it's her little growl that convinces me to stop torturing her. I push her forward and down until she's on her hands and knees, still facing away from me. I raise myself onto my knees, entering her again, this time letting out my own moan of pleasure. She's so fucking tight, so velvety as I push into her.</p><p>I don't care that we are making love right out in an open field, despite it being on her personal property. All I want to do is to bring her to new heights of rapture. But, the pace I'm using is excruciatingly slow. I pump into her as if we have all the time in the world to fuck.</p><p>When she lowers the upper half of her body, pushing her ass into me, I increase my pace. The side of her face is buried in her arms, resting on the blanket. She's content with her back arched, giving me a generous view of her backside as I pound into her.</p><p>I move my hands back to her waist and throw my head back, closing my eyes taking in the bliss that is this moment. I'm fucking the woman I love, the sound of our bodies hitting each other nearly drowned out by her muffled cries and my moans.</p><p>A tingle in my lower spine tells me my orgasm is fast approaching. I want to make her second one come first, but it seems that not even the Force could allow that. I shout her name when it hits me, the breeze drowning out my yell to everything else. I don't stop. It's absurd not to. The feeling of still slamming into her after just releasing my seed is just as deliciously painful. My second orgasm is just more powerful than my first one and I'm this close to blacking out.</p><p>"Anakin!" Padmé screams my name, it's beautiful, and I know her orgasm has hit her because I feel the flutters and contractions against my cock. I lift her to where her back was once again against my chest, before finally stopping to let it wash over her.</p><p>"Don't cry, baby, don't cry," I plead, sitting back on my heels when I realize she's doing just that. She sits back with me, pulling my arms around her, wrapping herself in my comfort. We stay hugging each other like that until she stops crying.</p><p>"A Jedi shall not know love," I'm forced to whisper when she turns her head towards me. I've confessed to doing something forbidden—which we have, hoping she understands my meaning as I gaze down at her.</p><p>"I know, Anakin, I know," Padmé woefully admits, likely remembering the conversation we had on the transport that brought us to Naboo. She reaches up to stroke the side of my face before getting up from my lap. She stands, fixing her gown back over her legs, giving me time to fix my appearance.</p><p>When she turns around, I'm fishing things out of the basket we'd momentarily forgotten about in the heat of the moment. This time, she sits across from me and looks directly in my eyes.</p><p>"You aren't going to follow that rule, are you?"</p><p>I speak honestly when I answer her, because lying at this point would be foolish. "No. I'm not. But, if I defy the Council, I—I have to lie." I look at my lap now, feeling uneasy.</p><p>I'm going to risk everything for her. I should feel guilty about what we've just done, but I don't. It should feel wrong, as it goes against everything I've been taught, but it doesn't.</p><p>Padmé reaches into the basket and pulls out some bread, breaks it in half and passes it to me. We eat in silence, both of us knowing the consequences we are about to face if we let this continue.</p><p>But, for the time being, at this moment, we have peace and serenity in the looming darkness we both know is coming…</p>
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